Churchill had an incredibly quick mind, a sharp tongue and a very large vocabulary. He loved playing with words – creating new ones, adapting old ones – and using words to his advantage, quite often at the expense of others (although sometimes at his own, too!) Many of his speeches – and quotes from those speeches – are very well known, but his witticisms, , jokes and puns are perhaps less well recorded (or often misattributed). Churchill had a mischievous sense of wit. This couldn’t really be called ‘humour’; he wasn’t usually trying to be funny or make people laugh; nor did he tell bawdy or ribald jokes; this wasn’t in his nature. But he did enjoy the neatness and cleverness of a well-placed and carefully judged retort. He didn’t hesitate to use his particular talent with words on others. He had certain ‘sparring partners’ (as Richard Langworth puts it) who prompted him to fire off a quick riposte. Although these might have seemed off the cuff and spontaneous, they were generally carefully rehearsed, words carefully selected for punning potential, stored in his prodigious memory and then released on their unsuspecting recipient at the right moment. In 2013, he topped a poll of ‘history’s funniest insults’. Read more – and see the full list – . In the there’s a Churchill quote on nearly every page. As this journalist said, he’s the last word in political wit.

Anyone can rat, but it takes a certain amount of ingenuity to re-rat.

We are all worms. But I do believe that I am a glow-worm.

A lie will gallop halfway round the world before the truth has time to pull its breeches on.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

It has been said words are the only things which last forever.

[My ideal of a good dinner] is to discuss good food, and, after this good food has been discussed, to discuss a good topic – with myself the chief conversationalist.

I am a man of simple tastes—I am quite easily satisfied with the best of everything.

[Nancy Astor: “If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.”] If I were married to you, I’d drink it.